Lessons In Life

This will undoubtedly be a departure from the usual witty banter you have become accustomed to on this blog.  My apologies in advance for taking a short detour down the path of serious.  I promise to be back to the art of literary entertainment in the near future.

My impending journey into the world of my 30's, coupled with recent events in my personal life, have led me to believe I should share a few lessons in life that I have learned over my seemingly brief 29 years.  My hope is that this comes off as suggestions for finding a little happiness and balance, and not a preachy ramble.

RESPECT YOUR PARENTS.  Ask anyone who has lost a parent and they will immediately remind you of the treasure that a supportive parent can be.  Good or bad, your parents will teach you more about living than anyone else you will meet throughout your life.  If there is one group of people that will always be there to affirm that you can achieve more than you ever though, it is your parents.  Understand that they will often make absolutely no sense when they are attempting to teach you something because you are still too young and simple to understand the underlying meaning.

RESPECT YOUR CHILDREN.  I see far too many people who treat their children as a burden or a personal servant.  If you did not want kids, then you likely could have avoided that situation by simply exercising some self control.  But since you have kids, why not try and make the best of it and mold them into someone you will be proud of.  Remember that your children will hold you in the highest regard even when you falter.  Be humble enough to admit your mistakes to your children and use those opportunities to pass along a lesson they cannot learn from any book.

ACCOUNTABILITY AND PUNCTUALITY ARE PARAMOUNT.  No person will go through life without making a mistake.  None.  The true test in life is if you are willing to take responsibility and use your mistakes as the next foothole in your path of growth.  Whether they say it or not, people notice and respect those that choose not to blame others or shrug off accountability for their actions.  If you say you are going to be somewhere at noon and you plan to complete a certain task; show up at 11:45 and work until that task is completed.  Take pride in your work and your accomplishments.  There are few better feelings than the knowledge that you have done a true day's work to the best of your ability.

USE YOUR ENERGY TO MAKE YOURSELF AND THOSE AROUND YOU HAPPY.  Notice that I said YOURSELF first on that one.  Without first making yourself a happy and content person, you cannot hope to make those around you happy.  Focus your time on finding the things that make you smile and then make them your priority.  I joked with someone the other day that I have the skill to find the good in almost anything, hence I have been a Chicago Cubs fan for many years.  Don't waste your time dwelling on the negative aspects of life.  Recognize them.  Acknowledge them.  Distance yourself from them.  To me, the absolute best thing you can do in any given day is make someone laugh.  Make them smile.  Make a minute of their day a little more entertaining and a little more fun.  You can never underestimate how much that one laugh or smile may mean to them on that particular day.

So those are a few quick suggestions from a normal guy just trying to make it through this ridiculous journey of life.  Nothing too major.  Nothing too heavy.  Just some small pieces of knowledge that might bring a little more good into your day.  Thanks to everyone who has encouraged me to continue this blog and who has expressed their appreciation for my random Facebook statuses and Tweets.  I hope you get a laugh every once in a while at my expense.  Just do me one favor.....PASS THAT LAUGH ON EVERY DAY.

A Gold Medal In Awkward

The Olympics.  A shining beacon of international unity in which world class athletes gather to achieve feats of legendary proportion.  And then the Spice Girls come out and make it all better.

My limited attempts to watch and/or follow the Olympics have left me less than inspired to be patriotic or otherwise interested.  Baseball is no longer an Olympic sport, so that pretty much took me out of the demographic anyways.  But there were some interesting points......


(I'll probably get sued for using this picture)

- DONG DONG.  You moved me with your Gold Medal in trampoline.  How could an athlete with such a truly incredible name make themselves more interesting you may ask....by winning a gold medal in an event that my 7 year old niece could participate in.  How has Nike not signed this guy up for a multi-million dollar contract?  His name is freakin' DONG DONG.

- LOCHTE.  Apparently this name derives its origins from the Navajo word for OVERRATED.  Did you enjoy watching Michael Phelps make you his bitch again?  If you want to claim you are a badass, you generally need to win a medal or two on your own to back that up.  And don't give me that "he's cute" crap.  The dude choked in these Olympics harder than George Michael at a rest stop bathroom. 

- LOLO JONES.  Thanks for making Lochte look successful.  You had the media coverage of Michael Jordan and the achievements of Horace Grant. 

- CLOSING CEREMONIES.  Still in progress....but confusing nonetheless.  Apparently if you have ever claimed to be a famous person from England then you got invited to perform.  The unfortunate part is that all the real famous people passed so now I have to listen to Kaiser Chefs and other talentless ass-clowns slaughter classics.  Not to worry though, we got The Spice Girls to come out and show us all what plastic surgery has done for the world.  Kate Moss and Victoria Beckham probably shared a Triscuit backstage before the show.


So thank you Olympics 2012 for reminding us that we should be willing to give out medals for mind-numbing crap like ribbon twirling, handball, race walking, rubics cube and grocery bagging.  Thank you England for reminding us that no good music has come out of your country since the 1970's.  Thank you NBC for allowing me to view an event that took place 7 hours ago, even though NASA can get footage from Mars in less than 20 minutes.